I grow flowers, I put them together in bouquets, I deliver them, I tell people, "I'm a flower farmer." But in my head I have this little voice that whispers, "Your flowers aren't anything special. Other people grow more exotic varieties. Everyone sees that you're nothing special."
"You're not enough."
That's it, isn't it? The fear that people will see that I'm not as successful as the real flower farmers, those who hire dozens of employees and post pictures of elaborate wedding bouquets.
For me, it's zinnias that, in my head, make a "real" bouquet. I've been making subscription bouquets now for 8 weeks of the season, and this is the first week my zinnias were ready. Is it true that my previous weeks' bouquets weren't "real"? Since they had no zinnias?
No, of course not. Just like it's not true that I'm not a "real" flower farmer if I don't have a greenhouse, or because people don't drive by and see a neon sign that says "Audra's Gardens".
Just like it's not true of ANY of us that we're not enough, just because we don't live up to the images we see in social media.
In those moments when I doubt myself, I have to speak truth into my own heart. Because I am walking the path that God laid out for me. I will never dominate the flower scene in Indianapolis, I will never be seen on Magnolia network, but I AM enough because God made me, He chose me, He leads me. As I walk beside Him, I claim the truth that I have INCREDIBLE value. Not because I win market share, but because He valued me enough to give his Son to adopt me into His very own family.
I am living the life He has called me to live, and THAT, friends, is enough.